A bit of humor always comes in handy.

. Try these:

1) The show had a happy ending. The audience was delighted it was over.

2) "The secret of acting is sincerity. If you can fake that you've got it made." (George Burns)

3) Thank you for the applause. You know, applause like that is better than sex. And in my case it lasts longer.

4) An actor is doing a terrible version of Hamlet. He's so bad the audience start booing. Finally the actor stops, looks at the audience and says, "Don't blame me! I don't write this garbage!"

5) "Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great." (Fred Allen)